Frequently Asked Questions

"Before they came to S.L.A.A., most sex and love addicts had already realized that they couldn't control their sex and love addiction.  Sex and "love" had become a power greater than themselves.  S.L.A.A. experience has shown that to achieve and maintain sexual and emotional sobriety, the sex and love addict needs to accept and depend upon another Power which s/he acknowledges is greater than him/herself.  Some S.L.A.A.s choose to consider the S.L.A.A. group itself as the Power greater than themselves, while others choose to accept still different interpretations of this Power.  Most S.L.A.A.s adopt a concept of God, as God may be understood by the individual him/herself." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.
An S.L.A.A. meeting may take one of several forms, but at any meeting you will find sex and love addicts talking about what their patterns of sex and love addiction did to their lives and personalities, what actions they took to help themselves, and how they are living their lives today.
They will be there for the same reason you are there.  They will not disclose your identity to outsiders.  At S.L.A.A. you retain as much anonymity as you wish.  That is one of the reasons we call ourselves Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
You are an S.L.A.A. member if and when you say so.  The only requirement for S.L.A.A. membership is the desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction, and many of us were not very wholehearted about that when we first approached S.L.A.A.
Closed meetings are limited to members and prospective members only.  The only requirement for S.L.A.A. membership is the desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction…
"S.L.A.A. believes that sex and love addiction is an illness, a progressive illness which cannot be cured but whack like many illnesses, can be arrested.  It may take several forms—including (but not limited to) a compulsive need for sex, extreme dependency on one person (or many) and/or a chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue, or fantasy..." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc. For a more detailed explanation see the "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet (usually available at any meeting).
Open meetings can be attended by students, professionals, and other non-members interested in learning more about S.L.A.A.  The designation of a meeting as "open" does not change the meetings primary purpose of the group.  Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sex and love addict who still suffers.
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a twelve step based fellowship of men and women who help each other to stay sober.  They offer the same help to anyone who has an addiction to sex and/or 'love' and wants to do something about it.  Since S.L.A.A.s are all addicts themselves they have a special understanding of each other and the disease.  They know what the illness feels like—and they have learned how to recover from it through S.L.A.A." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.
Our list of local meetings covers the area of Puget Sound (Bellingham to Olympia and Bremerton).  Fellowship Wide Services list other worldwide meetings.  Other "open" meetings of 12 Step-oriented fellowships can also be helpful, or you may consider attending online and telephone meetings.
"Sobriety is the return of choice, sanity, and personal dignity which comes from surrender to sex and love addiction, followed by involvement with S.LA.A.'s Twelve Step Program of recovery.  There are no absolutes for sobriety in S.LA.A. as individual patterns of sex and love addiction vary.  However, each S.L.A.A. identifies for him/herself major addictive behavior which is personally relevant, and becomes "sober" by abstaining from this behavior on a daily basis." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.
S.L.A.A. groups are self-supporting, declining outside contributions.  There are no dues or fees required to attend an S.L.A.A. meeting.  Voluntary contributions from members are used for expenses such as rent.  No one is ever obligated to make any donation at an S.L.A.A. meeting.
"Only you can tell if you are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually addicted to sex and/or love.  Going to several meetings will tell you if you can identify with other sex and love addicts.  Obtaining the pamphlet Sex and Love Addiction: 40 Question for Self-Diagnosis will help you evaluate your sexual activities, romantic behavior, and emotional involvements." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.
An Intergroup is a regional service group made up of representatives from local groups. The combined resources of several groups in an Intergroup provide effective and widespread outreach to those seeking help for sex and love addiction.
"A sponsor is an experienced, sober S.L.A.A. who has become seasoned in his/her new way of life, and is available to share his/her experience, strength and hope with an S.L.A.A. newcomer on an individual basis..." "...The relationship of sponsorship is based on mutual trust and may be terminated at any time by either the sponsor or the sponsee." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.
Maintains and distributes local meeting lists. Provides outreach and information to local meetings. Sponsors and organizes special meetings, retreats, or conferences. Elects and sends a delegate to the Annual International Business Conference (ABM). Maintains and staffs the telephone helpline. Hosts a website with up-to-date meeting lists, resources, and information about retreats and events. Orders books, literature, and coins for purchase by local meetings. Collects registrations and funds for retreats. Collects donations from local meetings and distributes to Fellowship-Wide Services.
"A newcomer usually asks another sober S.L.A.A. if s/he will sponsor him/her.  The prospective sponsor has the right to accept or to refuse, and/or may suggest another sober S.L.A.A. for this role whom s/he feels would be more suitable." Excerpt from "Questions Beginners Ask" pamphlet - 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.